Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I am not Juliet, he's not Romeo, yet our love is closely related to their fateful immortal love. I am not Thisbe, he's not Pyramus, but we shared the same sad plight of fighting for our love regardless of the thick wall that stood between us. Our love is just one of the few of the starcrossed lover's tales with a hopeful wish that our love will prove others wrong.
We started as friends, a friendship that was quite so intimate, and that eventually developed into something wonderful - a feeling that was too hard to resist, and restraining its all-encompassing embrace to envelop us, was pointless. We yielded to it, with eyes closed to the world, but with open hearts to each other.
At first, he's just a friend to me, nothing more, nothing else. I was very trusting to him, so open, telling him almost everything about me - my passion, my angst, my ideals, my fears, and my loves. I was used being with him most of the time, and the moment our hands held each other, I could feel a completeness within my empty soul, a completeness that I won't trade for anything in the world, a completeness that I could just savour when we were together.
I was then nursing a wounded heart, and thought I couldn't move on, but he stood by me, soothing every bruise of my scarred ego, helped me find my lost soul, breathing a wind of optimism, encouraged me to move on... and I just found myself moving on...with HIM.
Being a hopeless romantic I am, I stayed awake one night contemplating on the budding feeling of deep care I had for him, and judging from his actions towards me, I knew it then, that my feeling was mutually reciprocated. I cried that night for a reason that I was happy knowing that we had a special bond, i,t's the silence between the two of us, yet, afraid of the consequences.
There's a feud between his family and mine, a political feud that seemed endless, and I knew at that moment, that if I continue loving him, we'd surely face a situtaion that was too challengong for us. J was really confused, yet in love.
In the summer of 2007, in April, a few hours before dawn, the two of us gazed at the wide expanse of the skies trying to spot the brightest star among millions of them, with the same wish that our love will triumph against all odds. That same night, we expressed our emotions wholeheartedly, in between tears, whining and lamenting for our love - a love that was and is beautiful for us, yet forbidden by the persons close to us.
We tried to conceal the real score between us, in fear that our parents and others would take notice of it, we tried so hard to hide our relationship, afreaid for it to be jeopardized. But, we couldn't contain our blazing emotions any longer, though we never spoke love poems to each other, our eyes and our actions betrayed us, and eventually, more and more people suspected that there was something really going on between us.
When my mother confronted me about it, I never uttered a word. I was silent, yet my heart beat like a noisy bass drum. Tears welled in my eyes as she told me to break it up with him. For it could never be the two of us, they didn't permit it. Our parents abhorred each other indidnantly, and obviously were against with our relationship.
His parents told him that our relationship was a sure foolishness, and what really pained me was, when he was told that he could love other girls but not me. That was a biggest blow of agony on my part. Because of my infamous life-driving in the past, to his family, I seemed to be a wrong girl for him, and his parents were against with me, personally. I admit I was and am not an angel, I am human, in any sense and my life was a mess, he came to my salvage, urging me to be more humane.
He accepts me for who I am, inspires me, and gives me a much positive purpose in life. People still judge me up to now because of my squandering and dalliance, yet he stands by me, backs me up when I need someone to make me feel significant.
There were a lot of times that I wanted to put an end to our relationship, for I pity him. His parents stopped trusting him when they knew our relationship. I couldn't bear to see him not in good terms with his family because of me. I love him so much and though not entirely willing, I could let him go, if its the only way for him to regain his parents' trust. Yet, everytime I opened the topic of setting each other free, he stopped me from talking, and hugged me, instead, for he told me that he was willing to bear all the pain the world can give if it meant loving me. We often ended our conversations with tears on our eyes, and a smile in our hearts.
Our relationship runs on for 10 months now. Although we're sailing on rough waters, we never surrender, we go on sailing, if a more cruel storm attacks us in our defenseless state, we are not afraid to drown together, and love each other more intense beyond forever.
In a world of lies, there is only one truth: hope.
And we are very hopeful that the world, especially our parents, will accept our relationship. We are still hoping and praying that our love will overcome all of these difficulties our love encounters now.
We are a modern day Romeo and Juliet, and Pyramus and Thisbe. Our love seems ridiculous and wrong to the eyes of others who don't understand in this very jealous world, but we fight for it until it hurts, for we value our love, we value each other, and we pray that we will overcome. We pray that the ill-fated tales of Romeo and Juliet, and of Pyramus and Thisbe's won't befall on us. We long to love each other beyond death.
"Both of us, too, can love, we , too, can be brave..."
Defeating the doubts and cowardice of our human nature, we take the challenge of proving to the world that our love is real, and we can make it up to the end. We entrust our love to God believing that He imparted us this gift of loving - of accepting each other in spite of the faults and flaws. We are confident that God desidned our love stiry according to His heavenly plan, not just with a fairy tale-happy-ever-after-ending, but also with a prayer that we will be together singing our love song in paradise.
Trials and opposition to our relationship can not shake the foundation of trust we've built to guard our love. In the meantime, we contInue loving each other and doing the right things for our parents to acknowledge, and would enable us to accept our relationship.
This will be our first Valentine together, and I silently pray that our Valentine story won't just end in Spring, but we will share every Valentine's day in the next nth years of our lives.


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